Why this small act actually matters
I’ve been thinking more about the power of love notes since I sent last week’s email (which had SO MANY responses!)
On the surface, cutting out colorful paper hearts and writing little notes of appreciation might look… frivolous. Sweet. Something you do when life feels easy and you have all the time in the world.
But, one look at the news... life doesn’t feel easy.
And I definitely don’t have all the time in the world.
But... I’m making the love notes anyway.
When I sat longer with why this “cute” act is so important to me, I realized that...
Feeling, Creating, and Spreading Joy and Love IS so so important. It’s actually its own form of forward progress. (And it's also pro human-to-human connection... something we're all desperate for in the land of fake everything and AI).
Choosing to pause. (My goodness there is power in the pause)!
Choosing to create beauty.
Choosing to really see and appreciate each other when the world feels loud, harsh, and heavy… is not ignoring reality.
It’s engaging with it differently.
Cutting out hearts and writing love notes gives me a chance to slow down and really notice the spectacular-ness of THIS season in life and the F’ING amazing people (!!) around me.
It’s a chance to feel goodness actually filling my heart, and not just let it pass through my mind (if I even notice it in the first place).
And that matters.
How you feel inside radiates as a “frequency” outside. My dear friend, Cari, keeps reminding me, “Our Frequency is Our Superpower!”
So... what's your frequency, your energy like? Is it fast, half-listening, and in the dregs of humanity? Or is it soft, empowered, noticing the good, and sharing that energy with the world?
Last week, I listened to a conversation between Oprah and Jennifer Wallace about “mattering.” That deep human need to feel seen, valued, and significant. The research she presented is clear. When people feel like they matter, they are more resilient, more connected, and more capable of caring about others. Obviously the extension of those feelings (and the feelings opposite of those) are life-changing.
These little love notes telling people how much they matter aren’t fluff. This is foundational work.
When I slow down to notice the little things that my kids or husband do that make me feel all the feels, and shine a light on those qualities for them...
When I really notice how our teachers support our kids' growth, how deeply our grandparents love, how much our coaches care, and how wonderful it is to be greeted by a genuine smile in our neighborhood...
We’re not just being kind and polite or checking the box on Valentine’s Day. We’re changing the pathways in our brains to notice the good, to notice what actually matters. We’re training ourselves to tune in, to appreciate, and to connect in real ways that make people feel seen.
And when we practice this type of love with our kids and our communities, we’re shaping the kind of humans who can hold complexity, who can lead with empathy, and who can stay engaged with the world instead of shutting down.
This little practice isn’t really about Valentine’s Day… it’s just a great excuse to get started. 🎇
It’s always a good time to choose love, kindness, connection, and community.
The passionate activist in me sometimes whispers (or yells) that this isn’t enough when the needs of the world feel… overwhelming. And yet, I keep reminding myself that this isn’t an either/or. We need systemic change and nourished leaders. We need policy shifts and people in community who love each other well.
These love notes exemplify me tending to one part of that equation.
Loving YOU,
Abbey
PS - If you want to listen to the Oprah + Jennifer Wallace conversation on mattering, I highly recommend it. It beautifully reinforces why this work, especially in our homes and communities, matters so much.
PPS - I heard from so many of you who were inspired to create your own wall of love! Please send pics and tag me on social so I can see them too! 🙌