The Best Holiday Gifts Cost $0
A couple weeks ago, a friend suggested we do a white elephant gift exchange for our holiday dinner with two other couples (8 adults total).
If you saw my email last week, you know I felt immediate resistance. My mind went straight to:
~What random (non-thoughtful) thing am I going to buy?
~This is going to be something wasteful that nobody actually needs or probably wants.
~I already feel like I'm always drowning in s-t-u-f-f
~Our poor mother earth…
My whole body resisted.
So even though I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or squash the fun, I fully Grinched and awkwardly texted back…
”I might need help with this one because I have become so friggin hyper aware of environmental stuff with my purchase pause last year. (No judgment - hard for me to buy stuff now).”
And instead of upset or judgment from the group, my fear was met with acceptance and curiosity. “I haven't heard about this abbey!!! I need to hear more. What about a game instead? Something festive. I’ll do some research.”
That amazing friend came back with the BEST idea: “Two truths and a lie… from our year.” Three memories or experiences from the year. Two true, one fake. Go around the table and guess the lie.
That was the entire “gift.”
It cost nothing.
And it ended up being So. Much. Fun!
We laughed hard, learned so much more about each other, and felt genuinely connected in a way a silly gift never could provide.
Logistically, it also gave us an easy structure. Space for tangential conversations, laughter, stories, and then right back to the game when we needed to move forward.
And it made me wonder: Can we change the way we've always done things? How else could we gift connection instead of clutter?
Here are a few ideas you can steal:
A conversation game or prompt jar - have you heard of Priya Parker? She's got incredible ideas to "gather well"!
A potluck with a theme (comfort foods, family recipes, “meals from college”)
Everyone brings one song that defined their year
A morning walk and coffee instead of exchanged gift
A holiday scavenger hunt or bingo situation
Handwritten letters or gratitude notes
Minute to Win It Silly Games
What we’re really craving isn’t more stuff.
It’s presence.
It’s PLAY.
And on a deeper level... It’s being known and seen.
So if you want a holiday idea that feels fun, meaningful, and very low-waste, how about you skip the objects and add FUN structure to your togetherness?
Yes, coming up with those three memories was kind of hard but with the momentum of the evening, they popped in. The game absolutely made the night hilarious, magical, and memorable.
Sometimes a little intention creates far more joy than anything money can buy.
With love,
Abbey
PS: Last week’s email clearly struck a chord. Thank you for all the thoughtful replies and "YES! Love this!!" Here are a few ideas you shared that I loved:
One family with tween or teen kids who have outgrown wish lists now has their kids choose how they want to give back for birthdays (I imagine this works for holidays too). Random acts of kindness, service projects, or community giving. (Success might be age dependent but I LOVE it.)
“Experiences are all I want.” (Same.)
One parent shifted Santa to filling stockings with treats and a few books or board games and allowed the parents to take credit for the rest. 🙌
A surprise Lindsey Stirling concert as a Christmas gift. A shared memory like that lasts forever.
And my personal favorite. A hand-crocheted scarf gifted to mom. Still a “thing,” but a meaningful, useful one that took time, care, and love. I imagine making that scarf was also meditative (at times).
So many beautiful reminders that there are so many ways to do this differently.
And if you’re already full throttle in gift-giving overload, no worries, no judgment. I've been there. Let this be a seed planted for next year. 💜